Mantis Style!

Well, i got really bored today, so I made a couple
of comics for you guys.

I've always held the opinion that webcomics, like any art form, reflect the personality or feelings of the artist. In a sense, they often reveal the artists desire to see his/her life refelct the art that they create. In the case of webcomics, this usually results in huge-chested girls falling in love with huge losers. I see them as a car wreck, and no matter how terrible the carnage, I can't turn away, curious as to how far in a twisted phsyche I will be allowed to witness.

I guess that I'm no different. One look at my comics would reveal that I'm a lazy, immature deadbeat who's a loser with the ladies. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Stay tuned, I'll be sure to feature more huge-chested girls in future comics.

posted by Tay @ 5:16 AM 0 comments

Whenever people ask me what I'm afraid of, it always reminds me of the old saying that people are afraid of what they can't understand. I've always found that to be bullshit, because if it were true, then I would be deathly frightened of women, children, and quantum physics. Of course, that's not the case, but it's what I will tell you every single time you ask me that question. I just think that it's a pretty funny joke.

What really freaks the shit out of me is epistemology. If you don't know what that means, look it up. I'm not a freakin' dictionary. It seems like a harmless enough concept at first, but it can get really weird, really fast. Last night I was trying to sleep, and my hair flinched a bit. You know how that happens.
Oh shit, is there a bug in my hair?
So I brush your hand through my hair. But then doubt sets in.
What if it IS a bug, and comes back? What if I don't feel it tring to burrow into my skull this time? What if it's NOT a bug?
That's when I get scared right there.

I've never understood horror/slasher movies. They try to make the wrong parts scary. You know how when the frightened girl locks herself in whatever room, and looks it up and down, making sure that it's free of whatever nightmarish protagonist is puruing her? And just as she's starting to feel safe, she turns around and whatever was chasing her is right in her fucking face? Yeah whatever, maybe it's got claws and looks gross, but that's not scary to me. What's scary to me is that she couldn't fucking see the damn thing, when it was just off-camera the entire time. What if our entire lives are spent walking past things that would melt our brains with horror at the mere acknowledgement of their existence, but we just can't see them? Epistemology clearly proves that it's not impossible, and that fucking scares me.

Also: papercuts. They give me the willies. To conclude this topic of fear, I would just like to send a big "fuck you" to HP Lovecraft, and Eternal Darkness for the GameCube. I probably won't sleep much tonight either.

It's true what I said earlier, I don't understand women, children, or quantum physics. The latter two don't bother me so much, they aren't exactly pertinent topics in my life. Women howver, drive me fucking insane. There are certain things that I can undersatand about them, but I can't understand why these things are to be understood. Confused? Ah, but such is the nature of this creature. Take an example.

I asked Adrianne out for this weekend. I wanted to see her, and she had said that she wanted to see me, in as many words. Perfect. She calls me in the afternoon (at the same time I was dialing her number to call her, the fifth time this has happened since meeting her, but I digress) to inquire as to what plans I had for the night. I thought dinner and a movie would be a fine idea, the new I Heart Huckabees film looks to be worth watching. She says no, she doesn't feel like that much sitting around.

That's fine, a perfectly good excuse not to see a movie. Keep thinking.

How about bowling? We've certainly had fun doing that. No, she says. We did that last time, remember?

She's right, I certainly don't want to come off as being in a routine. Keep thinking.

And so I spilled my very brain out, suggesting every single date-like activity that could possibly exist within city limits. Each suggestion was declined almost immediatly. This was not a bargaining situation. I even went so far as to challenge her to a foot race around her block, thinking that it might be funny if one of us slipped on the ice and cracked our head open.

Okay, so maybe it wouldn't be that funny, but she is fucking baiting me here, I know it. I am completely out of options. I have to ask her...

What would you like to do? Regret set in instantly, and compounded with each additional word in the sentence. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that you must never, ever ask a woman to justify her thoughts, beliefs or feelings; and simply asking what she wants is just a stones throw away. What I am asking for is trouble.

Immediatly the conversation shut down, and in the end we never went out at all that day. On the up side, I got to watch cartoons, and play video games with Ryan, Kyle, and Jon. That was pretty cool. It was certainly better than smashing my head against things, which I would have likely ended up doing otherwise.

Wow, this went long. Maybe I should have split this into two posts over a week or so. Well, it's all typed now, so whatever. I'm done.

Right after I tell you all that William Shatner's new album is the most brilliant and artistically honest recording I've ever heard, and that Ryan may very well be retarded for not seeing the beauty in it.

posted by Tay @ 4:17 AM 0 comments

A speciar drink if you're feering ronery. Actually, it's Russian, not Korean, but I figured that some people would get a kick out of it anyway.

Pretty much the very minute that I posted the latest playlist, I had regrets. It occured to me that I was missing Morcheeba, Ladytron and other deserving finalists for the list, while at the same time using the same artist for two songs in some cases. My next playlist will not dissapoint though, that I can guarentee. Look for it sometime next week.

Jeff Rowland has a new comic, and I dare say it's some of his funniest work to date. Overcompensating is the story of Jeff's day-to-day life, as only he can tell it. It's new, so it won't take more than 5 minutes to read them all. Do it!

What's the coolest trailer on the net these days? It's none other than The House of Flying Daggers, no doubt the rowdiest of all the frat houses. This promises all the the action of Hero and Crouching Tiger, with 2000% more knife-throwing. I love it already. I can imagine these guys cleaning up after a battle: "Is that my knife? Where's my knife? I know I threw it around here somewhere...."

posted by Tay @ 2:19 PM 0 comments

Okay, so I think that I went a little Photoshop crazy, after suffering such withdrawl. To cope, I just made six brand new comics for you. I know that this doesn't make up for the long stretches without such comedy, but I try to do what I can. Enjoy!

posted by Tay @ 5:48 PM 0 comments

Alright peoples! I finally scored a copy of Photoshop for Mac (take THAT Calvin!), so I put it to use right away to make you guys a new playlist. If you'll remember, I was lamenting a while back as to how I'm sick of being laughed at when I put on Marvin gaye to set the mood. So I went on a painstaking search to find the sexiest music out there. I'm sorry Ryan, but Hed Kandi is crap. It does not set the mood for love but rather the mood for sketched-out E-tards coming down off of whatever high they're on. Not sexy.



The Beastie Boys might be a bit risky, as is the Lovage, for different reasons. It's certainly not for the prudish, that's for sure. If you don't currently have somebody to enjoy this playlist with, then I'd suggest that you either find somebody, or just enjoy it yourself. but not in the way that you're thinking, you dirty, dirty people.


Which File Extension are You?

Heh, I love .swf's! They're without a doubt my favorite file extension. How fitting, and yet insulting.

posted by Tay @ 11:51 PM 0 comments

Just a quickie today.

If you like that link I gave for Scott Klopenstein's Littlest Man Band, then be sure to check out Karate and their album Some Boots. Psuedo-jazz awesomeness ensues.

Speaking of boots, Strong Bad has some new ones.

Speaking of Homestar Runner, Marzipan is hot! Like, holy crap! The Brothers Chaps are also not the fat, sweaty losers that I may have assumed them to be.

posted by Tay @ 5:37 AM 0 comments

I think that it could be understood that with my latest infusion of music to my iPod, I might slack off on my duty to constantly seek out new and cool musical acts. However, this could not be further from the truth. To stand as proof to this, I would like to direct your attention to The Littlest Man Band. This band is to Reel Big Fish as The Foo Fighters are to Nirvana, kind of. The Fish haven't broken up by any means, but Scott Klopenstein (trumpet player) has gone and started a side project. It's startlingly fresh to hear some ska/jazz fronted by a trumpet player. I think bands like that died off in the 40's, so this is pretty rad. Four demo songs are free to download, and I'd encourage you to do so.

I'm still searching for a copy of Photoshop for Mac, so new playlists and comics are on hold until then. I was able to find a copy of the original Doom, and that's a lot of fun. It's hard to believe that a game with such laughable graphics could stir up such controversy back in it's day. It makes me think that it's opponents had an idea of how advanced the industry would get, but that's a little too insightful for a lobby group with their heads up their collective asses.

My Top 5 All Time Best Comedy Movies List is facing some serious competition lately. The release of Anchorman was granted an instant induction to The List. And now there is the small matter of Napolean Dynamite. I make no exagerration when I say that this movie does not have one scene that isn't funny. This is comedic editing at it's finest. I can imagine the editors talking over a scene now:

"Is it funny?"
"Well, no. But it could be considered neccesarry to develop the plot."
"Scrap it."

It's that funny. In other movie news, Hollywood may either be glorifying my childhood, or raping it. God I hope this is good. Part of me harkens back to the old days of listening to old Bill Cosby records and laughing my ass off, and yet another part of me is screaming - "They fucked up Garfield!!! What hope does this have?!"

posted by Tay @ 2:26 AM 0 comments

Trimming the Fat
Man, don't fucking blame me for all that Aerosmith!

As you no doubt have guessed, Jon, Colm, and myself have swapped mp3s in a glorious orgy of file-sharing. While I now have tons and tons of music, this is not without it's drawbacks. So without further deliberation, I would like to give thanks for the following:

The Libertines - Self Titled
The Clash - London Calling
The Pixies - Surfer Rosa
Reel Big Fish - Why Do They Rock So Hard?
The Beatles - The White Album

And there is of course a small list of artists that have been added to my iPod of which I am slightly less thankful...

System of a Down, OutKast, Radiohead, Coldplay, Boston, Flock of Seagulls, AC/DC, MC Hammer, etc...

Having said that, I feel that I should apologize for some of the garbage that I have allowed to multiply:

Alanis Morissette, The All-American Rejects, Moneen, Coheed & Cambria, the dozens of other emo bands I downloaded for the ladies...

Now the only task ahead of me is to delete all of the doubled files. There are SO FUCKING MANY. Going in alphabetical order, I have made it to M. It is exhausting work.

Ryan, if you ever do go to the zoo, make sure to check out the Tree Kangaroos. Those guys are crazy!!!

posted by Tay @ 2:46 AM 0 comments