Mantis Style!

Beware downloading the new iTunes 4.9. It has nothing to offer but useless Podcasts, and it will erase your entire library. Unless you have your music backed up on an iPod or what have you, I wouldn't suggest the update.

posted by Tay @ 8:24 AM 13 comments

Shit damn I just finished reading Haunted and I may never sleep again. Too fucking scary. No matter how much I try to drown out the images burned in my mind with fresh-fruit smoothies, I don't think I'll ever get over how fucking creeped out I am. Not for a few hours, at least.

posted by Tay @ 11:16 AM 5 comments

I almost died yesterday, but then I didn't die. So I got that going for me. I must have caught some deadly strain of jungle virus from somebody. Why can't I get the good virus? I've talked to Phil about this sort of thing on numerous occasions, my question always being: Wouldn't it benift a virus in an evolutionary sense to do good for our bodies, such that we wouldn't want to drown them out with Nyquil? And now it turns out that there does exist such a virus, which makes me very happy. I hope that I catch it, or have already caught it.

When I said that I didn't want anything for my birthday, I may have lied. Man that is one rockin' guitar.

And finally, I would like to direct your attention to Texas ninjas. Vandalism isn't normally what I'd call a noble pursuit for a ninja, but it's in Texas so I don't care, and they're vandalizing cop cars so it's funny.

posted by Tay @ 4:34 PM 4 comments

I don't want to pull a Phil, so for my birthday I will be making my own plans. The shindig will go down on Sunday July 3rd, where we'll be eating at Open Sesame at an agreed upon time, followed by drinks at Viscious, or perhaps the Blind Monk for a bit of variety. Nothing big, nothing fancy, just all of us hanging out and having fun. I realize that Sunday might not be a great day for everybody, but it's the best day for me, as my July schedule doesn't give me a weekend off until the very end. Hopefully this will be enough advance notice, just in case schedules need arranging or the like.

If I could just get a little help though: I'm planning on everybody meeting at Open Sesame around 6:30-7:00, but I'm going to need to know how many people are coming, and if times need to be changed to accomodate some. If you could either call or comment here, that would be great.

And please, if you haven't already, don't get me anything. Just buy me a drink or something, and we'll call it even.

posted by Tay @ 2:25 AM 11 comments

Check it out! It's Fat Mike, me, and Ryan! The plan is to put them all under one roof, and watch the hilarity ensue.

You should also check out the new Batman movie. I'd say that it's the best Batman movie ever, but the high ratio of ninjas to non-ninjas may have swayed my vote. There are a lot of fricken' ninjas in this movie. Also the acting is quite good (I thought), and it handles the subject matter very well. I will say that I was dissapointed that the movie focused a bit too much on Batman as a guy who just blows shit up, rather than Batman the detective, but that's a minor gripe. Also, the new Batmobile kicks ass, it's like a sports tank.

I'm hoping that the ass doesn't fall out of our plans for brunch today, I'm really looking forward to a stack full o' pancakes.

posted by Tay @ 7:50 AM 2 comments

Sims 2 is giving me problems. Making faces is pretty fun and easy, but making clothing is getting to be a real headache. The clothing files in the game are 512x512 resolution, but the game automatically cuts custom clothing down to 256x256, making it look shitty. I have been losing a considerable amount of sleep looking for the solution to this, pouring through forums of complete retards who will ask the same stupid question that is answered in the very first post.

I'm pretty sure that we need to blow up the internet.

The game itself is pretty pointless, which is the fun of it all. Basically you guide these sims through everyday life, making sure they don't piss their pants or starve to death. You get them jobs and lives and send them to parties or host your own. I can see how it could get addictive, especially if you're building your own custom neighboorhoods. Just don't expect me to turn into a Phil, neglecting actual life in favour of navigating a life simulation.

I had a really interesting discussion about violence and videogames yesterday. I was cited a study that showed that having a gun in a house can increase the level of violence within the house. Not that any of the violence involves the gun, but that it's mere presence in a house can create a more violent atmosphere. This isn't of course to say that videogames are a tool of violence, if anything they are merely a guide to it, an instruction book. This is how you jack a car. This is how you hold a gun. This is how you punch your best friend in the throat, etc. It all made me think, but none of it really changed my mind from the solution: Make parents responsible for the media their children consume.

By the end of the conversation, we both agreed that new parents should be handed a 1,000 page book of common sense idioms which is to be read in full during pregnancy. "Look, you've got 9 months to kill, here is some shit you should know so your kids aren't fucked up losers." If called upon, I would write that book.

posted by Tay @ 1:05 PM 4 comments

So I got to see Chuck Palahniuk for a short while the other day. I did that thing that I do where I skip out of work for a half-hour or so to do important things (BBQ, etc), and he was reading the first chapter from his new book. Y'know, the one about the guy and the swimming pool? Apperantly Chuck actually met the guy in a sex addicts meeting when he was doing book research for Choke. Also surprising is that you can read a stories about masturbation gone horribly, horribly wrong in a public bookstore, with children wandering around care-free, their ears carefully muffed by the hands of their fainting mothers. There is now a bloodstain on the carpet where an audience member of less than admiral fortitude dropped when the story got to the good part. Unfortunatly, I couldn't stick around long enough to get my book signed. Sarah was there for the whole thing, at the end of the line and everything, and she didn't get for book signed for about 4 1/2 hours. Nuts.

I picked up The Sims 2 from Matt's new work, and it's pretty rad. The Body Shop utility, which lets you make your own custom sims is pretty rad. My only complaint is that you can't adjust your sims for hight or girth. I guess that would take a miracle of animation to have them interact with each other though, so I'll let it slide. For kicks, I might make a sim for everyone in the blog collective and take a funny picture, or make a funny video or something.

There are a couple of birthdays coming up soon. One of them is mine. One of them is not. Some people have been asking me what I would like for gifts. I don't really want anything big this year. You guys spoil me annually, so try to keep it small this time around, okay? Small things are nice, like iTunes gift certificates and such. It's true that I'm moving out, but I'm pretty sure that between me and three roomates we can scrounge together whatever appliances we'll be needing.

One final thing: What is the meaning behind the prefix "mag"? Magnets, Magnify, Magazines. What is the connecting theme to qualify them for the same prefix? Just a thought.

posted by Tay @ 7:12 AM 8 comments

I Told Ya So

A while back I made a prediction on one of our blog's comment threads, saying that The Bellrays would be the next band to either make it big or sell out. I totally wonged that, but guess my surprise when I flip channels, only to hear them schlocking SUVs for Nissan? That's right, I know how to call 'em.

Since I obviously have some hidden talent for this sort of thing, I'll try again: My prediction is that The Go! Team will have their works featured in an upcoming commercial. Give it a few months. Their style of mixing 50's pop with 80's hip-hop is catchy stuff, and could surely sell a burger or two.

In financial news, I finally got the raise that I'd been pushing weeks to get. This pretty much makes things peachy-keen on the whole "getting enough money to move out" front. It's funny, I actually feel compelled to do a somewhat half-assed job now, rather than my previous 3/8ths of a job.

In great news, Matthew has finally joined the blogoshpere! He is always an awesome guy to talk to about things, so giving him an open forum to express opinions should be nothing less than fascinating. Also, we now get to discover the greatest mystery of all: Which Soul Calibur character is he?

In bad news, Chuck Palahniuk is doing a book reading/signing today, in the Chapters on Macleod and Southland. I am working. This is bad news. I might be able to convince Sarah to go in my place, and get my copy of Haunted signed. Which would be rad. If not, then I guess it's okay. I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be listening to him tell the story of meeting St. Gut-Free, the man who lost 90% of his large intestine when it was sucked out of his ass from sitting on a swimming pool suction vent while masturbating. Did I mention that his new book is a bit creepy?

posted by Tay @ 7:08 AM 0 comments

Jon, I have that $36 dollars that I owe you. Maybe if you're coming to whatever-the-hell-it-is-we're-doing-for-Phil's-birthday, I can give it to you then.

I got to see Crash tonight. That was an incredibly powerful movie. I will admit, there was one scene where I almost cried. Almost. The whole move is about racial relations/tensions, and it plays off every single angle of that central theme. I think the greatest part of the movie is that there are very few characters who are likeable througout the entire movie. Brendan Fraser is the DA for Las Angeles, and seems likeable enough, but makes decisions based completely on race rather than what's just ("We need a picture of me giving a medal to a black guy!"). Ludacris plays one of my favorite characters in the movie, and actually does a really good job. He's a carjacker who's convinced that nearly every facet of society is a conspiracy against black people. And he hates rap, which I thought was funny, unfortunately he doesn't stay on that topic of conversation for long.

See the movie. If need be, puch yourself in the arm to hold the tears in.

posted by Tay @ 10:48 PM 2 comments

Ryan says that he wishes it would stop raining. I don't see what he has to complain about; he's not the one who has to bike to work in a freezing torrential downpour.

The list of shit that has to get fixed on my car is growing by the second. After the driveaxle is replaced I have to worry about brake pads, transmission fluid, and a new muffler. This whole "getting debt-free by August" plan isn't off to a great start. Maybe the plan will shift to "get mostly debt-free by August." I don't know. I think that so long as my car is in good repair, that will be the biggest of my worries put to rest. Regular payments on a credit card won't be a problem with that crap out of the way.

I am definitly going to need a new job soon though. This shit just isn't cutting it. It occured to me last night that there is no fucking way that I'd still be at this crappy job if I couldn't have my music. I wouldn't have lasted a week.But when your average borderline retard is turning down your job because it's shit work that doesn't pay enough, you've got problems. Next time I see the boss, we're talking about a raise, or a replacement.

You may now fill up the comment thread with a dissection of my use of the semicolon.

posted by Tay @ 5:48 PM 5 comments

posted by Tay @ 4:08 AM 4 comments

Bourbon Congratulations! You're 123 proof, with specific scores in beer (40) , wine (83), and liquor (95).

Screw all that namby-pamby chick stuff, you're going straight for the bottle and a shot glass! It'll take more than a few shots of Wild Turkey or 99 Bananas before you start seeing pink elephants. You know how to handle your alcohol, and yourself at parties.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 44% on proof You scored higher than 73% on beer index You scored higher than 88% on wine index You scored higher than 90% on liquor index

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on OkCupid Free Online Dating

I was apprehensive towards taking this test, thinking that I'd screw up pretty bad, and have nothing to brag about. I'm not sure wether I'm embarrased or not.

posted by Tay @ 12:50 AM 1 comments

Man, biking is fun. I was testing to see how long it would take to get to work yesterday, and for the entire ride back home I couldn't stop smiling. I was wondering if it was possible before, and now I think it is.

I'm moving out. Not right away, August is the target date. And believe it or not, but I'm planning on moving out with the person I once said would be the last person I'd ever move in with. Fat Mike. For all the fun I make of him, he's proven himself able to outplay, outlast, and reliably pay the rent when compared to others. So the plan is this: I need to pay off my debts by August. This means no new iPod, I'm going to simply pick and choose what I want to leave out. It means no picking up albums on Tuesdays, I'll download what I can and borrow what I can't (please?). It means no second dinners, no all-you-can-eats, no drinks after the movie, and no movie to start with.

Instead, for the next few months I'll be having fun in ways that are either free, or already paid for. Biking seems to be pretty good times, and my computer offers tons of fun by way of Photoshop and GarageBand. Ryan, just wait until you see what I'm doing with those pictures I took with the guitar, they're gonna be awesome.

To help me in my quest to save my money, I would ask that you all think of me like Phil: don't even bother to ask me to go anywhere that would recquire me to spend money. The wallet is willing, but the spirit is weak.

Well, I'm out of here for now. I've got a date tonight, and I'm hoping that she doesn't mind going dutch on coffee. I'm also hoping she doesn't realize that I'm poor as all hell when I show up on my bike. More than anything else though, I'm hoping she's not a vegetarian. That's a cycle that needs to break.

posted by Tay @ 4:51 PM 2 comments

More Than Two Problems

Well, it's a good thing that I bought that computer with straight-up cash, because there are some hella problems now. My lemon for a car has just broken again (what is the deal with fucking axles, and their need to break every 4 months?), and I am quite broke. This news did not go over well with my dad, who sees not having an extra $300 to blow on my car at the drop of a hat to be a serious problem.

So now it's all "you need to be more responsible" this, and "10% of your paychecque" that, until I'm blue in the face from getting his long-winded financial advice. It would be much shorter if he could finish a sentence, ever. If you've ever met the guy, you'll know how annoying it is to talk to a man who will start a sentence, stop, wait upwards of 45 seconds (I used a stopwatch), and then finish it, all the while never breaking his stone-cold stare at you.

To make a long story short, I've started riding my bike. I tested to see how long it would take to bike to the office, and it's not that much worse than driving. God knows I could use the excersize. And compared to taking the bus, it's at least twice as fast. Stupid Calgary transit, they're so far behind they still refer to their fleet as "horseless carriages".

So my mobility for the next few weeks has been slightly stumped, as has my ability to buy that new iPod. Sometimes it's just really hard to get a leg up no the pile, y'know?

For something a bit more light-hearted, I found a switch commercial you might dig.

posted by Tay @ 8:31 PM 0 comments

Here's an early script for the commercial I'd like to film this summer.

The scene is a summer barbeque. The host is at the grill serving up burgers, people are chatting and generally having fun. The camera pans to beside our host, where we see a grinning man in a suit, never taking his eyes off the camera.

Grinning Suit Man: Say, this is a pretty dull party you got goin' here!
Host: I don't know, everybody seems to be having fun.
GSM: Shut up! What this party needs is Lil' Chug Ems!

GSM holds up a Lil' Chug Ems, and throws it as hard as he can at the nearest party-goer. It bounces off his head and into hands. He is obviously slightly stunned

Party Guy: Ow! What the hell is... Jesus that hurt!

Looks in his hands at the beverage, and inexplicably opens the cork with his bare hands, with the help of some off-camera trickery. He takes a generous swig, and instantly forgets his slightly bleeding head-wound.

PG: Oh man! I am so not afraid of the police now!

Party Guy takes another healthy swig and promptly fall over backwards. GSM walks on camera, glancing momentarily at the passed out dude.

GSM: That's right kids, it's Lil' Chug Ems!

The scene switches to some kind of a kitchen/laboratory set, with three guys in lab coats standing around a flat of Lil Chug Ems. One of them is using some kind of a testing instrument on the liquid, one is wearing ridiculous glasses, the other has a clipboard/pen and is taking notes. GSM's voice can be heard.

GSM: Superbrother port specialists work extra hard, testing each batch to be sure that it'll deliver the kick you need to party hard.

Glasses man: How does it look?
Instrument man: I dunno, purplish-brown?
Clipboard Man: Good enough for me. God, when's lunch?

Lunchboxes are pulled onto a table, each containing some cheap sandwich, an apple, and a Lil Chug Ems.



I'm tired, so I'm going to finish this script later. You can kinda get where I'm going with this though. Thoughts and sugestions are not only encouraged, but mandatory, as we'll prolly film a lot of this at the next barbeque.

posted by Tay @ 9:09 AM 4 comments

I guess every now and then I need to remind myself why it's a bad idea to try and shop at Best Buy. The following is a conversation that was held trying to get a new iPod.

Me: Do you guys have the 60 gig iPod photo?
Best Buy Asshat: We got the 30 gig.
Me: (annoyed that he's answering a question that I didn't ask) That's cool, I'll just take two of those and duct tape them together.
BBA: Alright, one sec.

I can feel a headache coming on as he's actually getting his keys to get me two iPods. So of course they don't have what I want, but readily suggest that I buy one from them online. I explain that their online store doesn't honour their own credit card, but suggest that they special order it from the online store to an actual store, where I could make the purchase. That kind of thinking earned me a stupid look, the kind that lets you know he'd like to talk to his manager about this, but doesn't want to lose face or do any actual work.

It's all good though, because as I was leaving I remembered that Matthew just got a job at West World Mac Dealer, where he will make commission on such a purchase. He'd kill me if I bought from Best Buy, so maybe this is all for the best. Ryan, Matthew will probably kill you too if you don't buy from him. Fair warning.

posted by Tay @ 4:42 PM 4 comments

Hot Diggity Dog!

I'm going back to Best Buy today to harrass people, and hopefully come away with a new iPod by the end of the week.

posted by Tay @ 8:04 AM 0 comments