Wednesday, July 09, 2003

I just finished doing 2 days of patient watch down at the hospital. It's definitly good money, and for the most part it's pretty easy, but last night was not fun at all. The patient was on suicide watch, and it was tempting for me to let him give it a go. To let you get a picture in your head of what the guy looked like, follow these steps:

1. Take accomplished actor/bug-eyed weirdo Steve Buscemi.

2. Starve him for 3 weeks.

3. Beat him visciously for 20 minutes with a lead pipe.

Yeah, and give him a nasty attitude too. This guy was spitting at me, and talking trash that would make a sailor blush. I still got to laugh though, because no matter how stupid and mean the guy tried to be, he was still hog-tied to the bed, and having to pee in a bottle. So there. The guy was going through detox for all kinds of drugs, and so he was pretty sketchy. But like all patients that I have watched before, once the nurse gives him the good sleepy-time drugs, they all get a bit more agreeable.

Money gets paid to me on Thursday. I can't wait. I'm thinking of taking my friends out to dinner to show how much I appreciate their generosity.


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