Sunday, July 27, 2003

There are a lot of things that I wish I had time to joke about here on the site, but by the time I can get around to them, the topics are pretty outdated. The case in point would have to be the streaking ad stunt at the US Open. Well, I have time now, so I might as well crack wise while I still think that its a good idea.

I am gearing my education for a career in advertising, should the whole "superninja" gig fall through, so naturally I have some pretty heavy opinions when it comes to advertisements. First of all, what the hell is nudity doing in golf to begin with? Which advertising guru thought up this nugget o' wisdom? It would seem to me that if golfers were interested in any way shape or form in nudity, they wouldn't spend so much damn time playing golf. Have these people ever SEEN golf? There does not exist another sport so devoid of sexuality than golf, except for maybe cricket, which is just too weird to even count. Actually, this kind of stunt almost seems natural, were it not for the environment it was set in. Both gambling and pornographic spam has gotten so bad (both in taste and volume) that it would make sense that the two would merge, and mutate into a creature that could survive outside of the internet. It's the basic evolution of the internets primordial components. Really, this seems like the kind of stunt that would be better suited for a football game, wrestling match, or something else more working-class.

Also, the female in question that performed this stunt is somewhat interesting. In all of the articles I've seen on the story, she identifies herself as a "celebrity model". I know for a fact that she hasn't been in any GAP ads, and with a name like hers, I knew something was up. So I googled her ass. As it turns out, "celebrity model" is a euphamism for "hardcore porn actress". Disturbing. However, I can't help but wonder how much this stunt has done in advertising herself, or her videos or whatever it is she does. I don't care to find out myself. But out of the interest of the advertising gimmick itself, I can't help but ask questions. Does running around a golf course topless pay more than letting some greasy porn-stud stick his penis in your ear? Does the casino hope to get a share of the coveted 'blue-blooded rich white guys' demographic by flaunting porn-chicks in body paint.

Seriously though, the thing coudn't even be televised, it was so bad. The only people who will be really reached by this ad are the internet afficianados that have already received the casinos spam email dozens of times previous.

I could go on, but I don't care to. After the poker game (I lost bad), I had to go home for a quick nap, about 45 minutes, after which my 3rd wind kicked in. I need sleep bad, and so will try and update more later.


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