Sunday, August 24, 2003

Man, it's been a while since I've done a proper update here. I guess that I should start by explaining where I've been these past 3 weeks. You may or may not have heard of the Lost Creek Fire deal that's been going on. I was there to take advantage of the situation. My security company was payig a pretty penny to those who toughed it out away from town, and i went for the long haul. By tough it out, I mean brand-new rental vehicles, damn-near goumet meals, and residence in a quaint bed and breakfast. Not everybody who came had such posh living, so I guess that I got lucky.

Now that I'm back, I'm doing my old job at the movie studio, which is where i am now. I gave my game boy to my little brother, who is unfortunatly laid up in the hospital with a broken hip. Poor guy has nothing better to play than the crappy N64 games that the hospital provides for kids. You'd think that if that was the best system they could come up with, they could at least have the decency to get Goldeneye.

More notes on the topic of videogames. I prepurchased Soul Calibur II, and picked up the limited edition strategy guide that comes with the soundtrack. It rocks. The preorder also allows me entry into the EB tournament. I thank god that staff is prohibited from entry, as that would mean instant defeat from either Ryan, EB Mike, or R. Kevin. These men have limitless skill, and know no mercy. My greatest concern now would have to be my friend Sam. He's asian, which means that he was born with the inate ability to kick my ass at fighting games. The tournament doesn't take place until a week after the games release, so that gives me time to practice. I hope to have my Kilik up to speed by then.

I also went and did something stupid. I went and purchased Monkey Ball 2. I don't know what I was thinking, as I will never be able to finish it. That was the beauty of when I would play it with Shuu. For the most part, we were both able to beat all of the levels that came our way. however, on occasion there are the odd levels that only one of us is able to beat, and the other breaks down and cries when forced to attempt. So now I'm stuck on Launch Pad, swearing loudly, and not accomplishing much. Good times.

We're once again trying to make an arcade machine. The plan is to have all the parts ready and programmed for reading week in November, which is when construction would commence. We want to have a crappy computer that would run MAME, and MAME only. It would run through a VGA-to-TV adaptor, where we would get a crappy 20-inch TV for the screen. For joysticks, the current plan is to invest in the X-Arcade. There is a store that i know of that could print up a bitchin' custom graphic that we could stick over the entire side panels. For the art, i'm thinking that i might draw a picture of Pac-Man flipping out and cutting off the head of a ghost, with a couple other ghost corpses in the background,while the last ghost is running away screaming "Oh Shit, Ninjas!". Classic. We have decided to dub this project 'Deus X Machina'. It will rock, if we can get it off the ground.

I need to stop buying magazines. They're bad for me. I have a habit of buying GQ and Esquire, and then cusing myself for not being a millionaire. I sit and sift through hundreds of pages of advertisements that tell me what thousand-dollar siut i should wear, to read the articles that advertise what thousand-dollar suit I should wear. The rest is interviews with celebrities that I hate, reviews for products that I can't afford, or overviews of books and movies that I never care to read nor see. So from now on, I won't buy these dumb rags, until I become a millionaire and these sorts of things apply to me.

Move over Jolt Espresso, make room for my new favorite pick-me-up. They call it Bawls, and it actually tastes good. It does the trick on those long night shifts too, so it's an all around good deal.

There was a picnic today for the whole dojo today. It was really fun. It rained at first, and not many people showed up intil the end, but it's always great to hang out with the ninja crew. I made a large batch of my special burgers, which Sensei suggested I call "Ninpo Burgers", after the dojo. I'm not one to disagree with a 7th degree Ninja Master, so Ninpo Burgers they are. The conversation went around to how i would market them, and now I am writing some scripts for commercials, which the dojo's eccentric Shauna would professionally film and send to various festivals.

My concept for the commercial is this: being that these are Ninja related burgers, they should incorporate some element of ninjutsu. The first character used in spelling the word ninjutsu ("nin") translates to 'patience'. My burgers do indeed recquire such patience, as they are topped off with chile and sour cream, which will make quite a mess if you aren't careful. So, the slogan would be something like "Ninpo Burger, do YOU have the patience?" The commercials would feature a man lacking such patience, hastily biting into his burger, only to get a mess on his shirt. A ninja would then promptly appear to kill him in various ways. The commercial would then cut to a montage showing how the burgers are made, with ninja slaughtering the cattle, mixing the beef, and using a sword to cut open the burger to reveal the deliciuos cheddar cheese and bacon that is cooked right inside the patty itself. The whole creation is actually quite ingenious if I do say so myself. Just don't ask for my secret recipe, as that is going with me to my grave. unless of course i CAN market these bad boys, in which case I will sell out faster than you can say "Hollywood".


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