Friday, January 28, 2005

Movie Trailer Madness
It's no secret that I enjoy movie trailers more than I enjoy actual movies. This is because for the most part, movies in their entirety aren't very good. A well-edited trailer is able to take most of the central themes of a movie, and condense it into 30 or so seconds by showing us only the best footage. There's been a few really great trailers released, so let's watch them and discuss, shall we?

Let's start off with a couple movies starring one of my favorite actors, Johnny Depp. The first is Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. It's a Tim Burton treatment, so expect a slightly sickeningly sweet treatment of the source material. I think it's gonna be a hit, but why does Willy Wonka have such a sickly skin colour? Perhaps he's dieing in this version, which would explain his need for a heir to the throne.

It's a Depp/Burton double-whammy with the addition of Corpse Bride. This is a movie where Tim is actually allowed to use the colour black, and he does so with vigour. Between these two movies, the goth kids won't know which licsensed aluminum lunch pail to buy. I'm led to believe that this stuff is actually stop-motion, which blows my mind.

Off to the land of Japan, where things just keep getting crazier and crazier. Kung Fu Hustle looks like a fucking laugh riot, what with the cartoonish special effects, and the worst dance choreography since Fat Joe's Lean Back video. I can't wait for this to come out.

Oh, and it looks like that remake of Appleseed is seeing an American release, which is cool. Is it just me, or can you guys see slowdown and framerate problems in this trailer?

From anime to good ol' fashioned american geekery, we see The Fantastic Four. God this looks like ass. Is that LL Cool J playing The Thing? Jesus, they didn't even cast George Clooney as Reed Richards which would have been the obvious choice. The guy they got looks like a fucking teenager with grey streaks. I'm going to hate paying to see this.

Finally, we have the movie that broke up Hollywoods golden couple, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Or as I like to call it; True Lies 2: Truer Lies. Son of True Lies. True Lies Revenge. Give me a break.

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