Monday, April 04, 2005

I Said "Boo-Ya" Today

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but I would like to add that vigilante justice should be served medium rare with a healthy supply of barbeque sauce. Please allow me to explain.

At work last night, I was doing my rounds in an office building. The building has a patio on the roof of the second floor, complete with barbeque. Whilst doing my patrol, I found some kids who were smoking in the stairwell, and I chased them onto the roof. They jumped off (it was only a 12 foot drop onto grass), while I surveyed the scene. It turns out the little punks had the barbeque going full blast, and there was a couple of steaks on the grill, with barbeque sauce and all. I politly asked if they would mind telling me what the hell was going on.

"Listen man, if you let us have our steaks, you'll never see us again."

But I had a better idea. They would not get their steaks, and instead walk away like losers. After telling them so, I went to turn off the barbeque and throw out the food. As I was doing this, I could hear one of the kids scrambling up the wall, thinking that I had left so he could reclaim his dinner. I remember seeing something like this in a movie (100 points for a correct guess). So I walked up to the wall and said hello.

"Listen, can we just get our food?"

Sure, here's your barbeque sauce. So I flicked open the lid, and doused the little brat with it. So he falls off the wall and starts cussing, and his friend joins in. It's cool though, because I was able to snipe that punk between the eyes from 10 yards with a hot t-bone. It was too perfect. If you want fun, chuck meat products frisbee-style as hard as you can into somebody's face and knock them on their ass.

Let it never be said that I can't take pride in my work.


At 3:06 PM, Blogger The Irishman said...

oh my... that is possibly the funniest story I've heard in quite some time... hitting the dude in the face is totally sweet. Nice work tay, you should be proud.

At 6:04 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

I second that. See, Colm, we do agree on some things! And Tay, I seem to recall some wall climbing going on in Men in Black. That's an awesome story. I wish I had that much chaos at work!

At 6:20 PM, Blogger Tay said...

Men in Black? What are you, retarded? Just kidding. I will give you guys a hint on this one: it's a good movie. A classic even. A really old classic.

At 8:21 PM, Blogger The Irishman said...

is it goodfellas? that's my guess.


At 5:44 AM, Blogger Tay said...

Older, much older. I don't even think they were called movies back when this was made. They were called something else. I'm being way too generous in my hints here.


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