Thursday, June 02, 2005

Here's an early script for the commercial I'd like to film this summer.

The scene is a summer barbeque. The host is at the grill serving up burgers, people are chatting and generally having fun. The camera pans to beside our host, where we see a grinning man in a suit, never taking his eyes off the camera.

Grinning Suit Man: Say, this is a pretty dull party you got goin' here!
Host: I don't know, everybody seems to be having fun.
GSM: Shut up! What this party needs is Lil' Chug Ems!

GSM holds up a Lil' Chug Ems, and throws it as hard as he can at the nearest party-goer. It bounces off his head and into hands. He is obviously slightly stunned

Party Guy: Ow! What the hell is... Jesus that hurt!

Looks in his hands at the beverage, and inexplicably opens the cork with his bare hands, with the help of some off-camera trickery. He takes a generous swig, and instantly forgets his slightly bleeding head-wound.

PG: Oh man! I am so not afraid of the police now!

Party Guy takes another healthy swig and promptly fall over backwards. GSM walks on camera, glancing momentarily at the passed out dude.

GSM: That's right kids, it's Lil' Chug Ems!

The scene switches to some kind of a kitchen/laboratory set, with three guys in lab coats standing around a flat of Lil Chug Ems. One of them is using some kind of a testing instrument on the liquid, one is wearing ridiculous glasses, the other has a clipboard/pen and is taking notes. GSM's voice can be heard.

GSM: Superbrother port specialists work extra hard, testing each batch to be sure that it'll deliver the kick you need to party hard.

Glasses man: How does it look?
Instrument man: I dunno, purplish-brown?
Clipboard Man: Good enough for me. God, when's lunch?

Lunchboxes are pulled onto a table, each containing some cheap sandwich, an apple, and a Lil Chug Ems.



I'm tired, so I'm going to finish this script later. You can kinda get where I'm going with this though. Thoughts and sugestions are not only encouraged, but mandatory, as we'll prolly film a lot of this at the next barbeque.

4 Comments:

At 2:01 PM, Blogger K-MAC said...

Frankly, I can't believe you missed this.

Ninjas.

What more do you need?

 
At 9:08 PM, Blogger The Man In Japan said...

It'd be wicked cool if you could get the Beastie Boys to be the 3 lab-dorks. Or even facsimilies there-of. Is that even spelled right? And I'm an ENGLISH teacher?!

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger Tay said...

Okay, the Beastie Boys would be rad, especially since the script calls for the scientists to break out in a fight immediatly after consuming their beverages.

As for ninjas, those are reserved for a forthcoming commercial for Ninpo Burgers, obviously.

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Cara-bellum said...

The Beastie Boys idea is kickin'. As for the ninja, perhaps just a super-quick ninja rolling / running / nin-ing through the background of every scene, or a fast subliminal-type ninja shot during the comercial. No explanation provided. Sort of a foretelling of things to come, if you will.

Mike, it's facsimiles and thereof. But I'll take an English teacher who demonstrates SCIENCE in his lessons (i.e., "how the universe might implode") over one who can spell any day.

 

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