Friday, July 29, 2005

I am Drinking the World's Shittiest Martini

Shit vodka, shit vermouth, even shit olives. It's all bad, but god do I need it. Let me start this story by saying that my car has never been cleaner than when I first bought it.

The reason for that is because I had to vaccuum out the mountain of broken glass that used to be my passenger-side window. I had parked it downtown on a street where I would think this sort of thing would be noticed. Completely oblivious to the obvious danger my car was in, I skipped merrily to Steven Ave, where I had a delicious falafel with a hot girl. Good times. Upon returning to the car to drive her home, I exclaimed my joy at finding my car untowed (which I always do). However, upon closer inspection, the passenger side window is completely smashed, with 90% of the glass finding it's way inside my car. Fun.

First instincts are funny. For example, my first instincts in this case were 1)make sure the iPod is still there (it was). 2) Dig in the mess with my bare hands to clear a seat for my lady-friend. For future reference, this is a bad idea. After discovering that I was bleeding quite a bit from my efforts, I found a pair of winter gloves to complete my mission. You can't hug your date goodnight when you're blood is trickling to your elbows, which dissapointed me a fair bit.

So now I have to finish packing and deal with this crap. I'm not even mad, I'm barely annoyed even. I'm 2 1/2oz confuzed, 1/4oz frustrated, with an annoyed garnish. The iPod was sitting right on the passenger seat. Why wouldn't they take it? It's the pointlessness of it all that bugs me, really. At the very least, I was able to keep my composure fairly well during the whole ordeal, so I may have a chance to call hot girl up again, unless the blood thing really freaked her out. We'll see. Me? I'ma get me a refill on my martini. I need something that I can feel shitty about, because this whole situation isn't emotionally satisfying enough.


At 2:03 PM, Blogger Mike said...

Maybe the would be theif didnt want to risk cutting his hand on all the freshly broken glass to steal your ipod.

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Cara-bellum said...

It was probably just some freak accident. Like, maybe it was Anvil Carrying Day, and people got a bit rowdy.

If the girl is ok with, or excited by, blood trickling down your limbs... KEEPER!

Oh, and your martini sucked b/c you didn't use gin.


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