Some Podcasts are Fun, Some Make You Want to Commit The Suicide
The CBC Radio 3 podcast is fun. You hear cool music and generally enjoy yourself.
The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Quick Tips podcast makes me want to commit the suicide. You hear interesting rich people detail for you why you do not deserve to be loved. Ever. At least I was able to appease the gods of homosexuality by blowing a wad of cash at Aldo on completely impractical shoes. I think I now truly understand how women feel after reading Cosmo, or whatever it is that tells them they're fat.
Yeah, that's not what I needed right now. What I need right now is a soda.
3 Comments:
Excerpt from July's issue of Cosmo:
"Yay you! You are a modern empowered chick who knows how to go for what you want. And we KNOW you'll want these darling Louis Vuitton angora stilletos! Make your co-workers jealous with your bling! Heck, these shoes are so hot they might even earn you some sex. Or a promotion. Or sex AND a promotion. Of course, we know you're perfectly capable of earning sex and promotions on your own and stuff, cuz you're all empowered and shit, but why take chances, right?
Besides, Mischa Barton wears these shoes, and maybe if YOU wear them, horny frat boys will think you're her and jump you every chance they get! At the very least, maybe they'll make your fat ankles look like hers! Uhm... not that we're *judging*, WE think your ankles are superlative! WE were never the mean girls from high school who dated the popular guys and stuffed your gym locker full of tampons as a gag! We just love the OC is all!
Also these shoes! On sale especially for Cosmo readers for the irresistable price of $5950! At prices this low, who cares if you can't walk for more than half a block before developing major blisters? If you don't buy them, everyone will look at you like you're a (high-achieving, capable, and accomplished) loser! Just like in 4th period Phys-Ed!"
HOW is womankind supposed to deal with this shit? Is it any wonder that we have more nervous breakdowns than guys? Thanks for understanding, Tay.
GOD, bitch, bitch, bitch, that's all I hear. I mean, come on. Why're are you worried about your fat ankles? You should all be on your backs all the time anyway. Who's looking at your ankles? Well, either that or cooking. And frankly, I could go for a pie RIGHT NOW! Plus, you should think more about hiding those black eyes that you get from not listening than your cellulite. Remember, palm of the hand is abuse, back of the hand is love.
Of course, we can all assume that Kyle's girlfriend has absolutely no interest in reading blogs. Ass.
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