Monday, April 24, 2006

I Fought The Law

And surprisingly enough, I won. by staying awake a few hours past my bedtime, I was able to save $177. All I had to do was waste a bunch of time in court. It was a really weird existential experience though. Maybe it was just because I was tired, but every face in the courtroom looked familiar to me. Every cop waiting his turn to testify was one that had pulled me over previously, every defendant was somebody I had seen on the train last week, or somebody I bumped into at one of our cities many dollar stores. I could have sworn that the Crown Prosecutor was on some Showcase program the other night, and the judge was the man who I caught singing along to the radio in his car. Of course my case was the last to go before the court that morning, and it took all of two seconds to be over. What follows is the verbatim transcript of what went down.

Crown Prosecutor: Your honour, the Crown moves that the defendant's charges be withdrawn.
Judge: The charges are withdrawn.
Me: Awesome. See ya.

Was justice done? No, I was speeding. I beat the system, and I couldn't be happier. Stick'n it to the man is fun.


At 7:26 PM, Blogger The Man In Japan said...

So you didn't get to be like Pheonix Wright and yell "Objection!" ?!
Man. Thats some lame-ass courtroom action. Chika-bwau.

At 9:05 AM, Blogger Man of the Century said...

Gotta love seeing your tax dollars at work.

At 6:22 PM, Blogger Tay said...

Ah heck, if the cop had shown up, it was totally my plan to waste as much tax dollars as possible. If I have to pay a fine, then I'm going to make sure that the process of forcing me to do so will be at least double the worth of the fine.

At least this way, the trial was only long enough to constitute perhaps $5 in total salaries.


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