Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A Mildly Funny Story

So I was downtown this afternoon, having a tattoo consultation at Bushido. Chrys was pretty impressed with the preliminary work I'd done on this, going as far as photoshopping up a crude mock-up of what the tattoo could look like. I guess most people go into their consultations saying things as banal as "I want, like, a flower or something. Can you do that?" As it stands, I go under the needle on the 17th. I'm super excited.

As I was walking back to my car though, dread filled my soul. Parked right behind my car was that of my arch nemisis: Meter Maid Man. Obviously he was camping my car, just waiting as the last few minutes drained. It was clear to me that while my ticket was probably already written up, it was not yet attached to my car. Perhaps some quick thinking will save the day.

Dont run. Running will only clue him into what's going on. He seems to be writing up more tickets, perhaps I can piss off before he notices. Nope, too late, he's already noticed me. I might as well talk to him.

"So hey, what would happen if I were to drive off before you could put that ticket under my wiper blade?" He's now tearing off the ticket from his book, and I'm sure it belongs to me.

"Well son, you'd have to be pretty fast..."

So, as quickly as I could, I popped into my car and started it up. He wasn't too far behind, and I could tell that I was about to lose. Just as he was reaching over to deliver his soft-boiled brand of justice though, lightning struck, and in a flash I knew what I had to do.

I turned on my windshield wipers, and started blasting wiper fluid all over the place. It was just the distraction I needed to peel out of there scot-free. I laughed all the way home.

10 Comments:

At 8:32 PM, Blogger The Man In Japan said...

Thats an awesome story Tay. But, you know he probably got your liscence # right? Can they mail you parking tickets like they do speeding tickets?

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Tay said...

I think that if I were to fight a mailed-in parking ticket in court, our villain would have a terrible time trying to prove that I was in fact parked, what with him not being able to catch my car. It comes down to a matter of evidence.

 
At 4:38 PM, Anonymous cara-bellum said...

Rad! Maybe the cop admires your ingenuity enough to let it slide? I know I would appreciate a guy who uses his wiper blades for new and creative purposes.

 
At 8:58 PM, Blogger jon said...

Cop?!?!?! Cara... Meter Maid Main =/= Cop.

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger jon said...

Fuck. Meeter Main Man.

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger jon said...

Fuck. I give up.

 
At 4:15 AM, Blogger Tay said...

It's true Cara, when it comes down to it, I'm as much of an authority figure as a security guard as the Meter Maid is. This is to say that we are frequently laughed out of situations like this when we assert our authority.

How do I handle this humiliation? I haven't actually been to work in weeks. Instead, I've been taking the company truck out to Canmore for sunset cruises. Then I go home and sleep.

 
At 10:31 PM, Anonymous cara-bellum said...

You guys know I have semantic dementia. Or maybe just dementia in general.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger K-MAC said...

You did hear about the new GPS system they have on parking cruisers now, right? And the fact they they do, in fact, now mail tickets to your home rather than place them under your dash.

 
At 4:21 PM, Anonymous Guitar Master said...

I wish I could blog as good as you, but what I can do is give you a nice Guitar Lesson!

 

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