Saturday, September 16, 2006

Same Story, Just the Names Have Changed

So I guess another retard kid got it in his head that it would be pretty rad to shoot a lot of people in Montreal. Reading about this guy in the paper, it's almost laughable how stereotypical the "school shooter" has become. The only thing unique about this loser was that he dithered away his days until he was 25 before he put his psycho destiny to an end. At this point, are we still allowed to blame the parents? I'd like to think so. After all, he was still living with them at the time.

But what can we do? Surely there must be some kind of warning signs that your trenchcoat wearing, rifle-owning loner of a son who spends all his time updating his blog might go postal. If only there was some clue...

There is one little thing I'd like to clear up though. The news keeps referring to the fact that he had a photoshopped picture on his blog of his grave, wherein it says that he "Lived fast died young. Left a mangled corpse", and that he wanted to die "like Romeo and Juliet — or in a hail of gunfire."

Let's be honest: every guy wants to die in a hail of gunfire or some such nonsense. No guy wants to die peacefully in his old age. That's boring. Personally, I want to die in a battle with my evil doppleganger, after which my surviving son will swear to avenge my death. Beacause he'll be cool like that. As for the whole "Romeo and Juliet" thing, I'm willing to bet that he just wanted to touch a girl at some point in his life.

Parents, do yourselves a favour: read your child's blog. Also, ask yourself: does my creepy son own any firearms? Am I sure? As long as he's still living in your basement, rape his privacy until he leaves the house. At least then you won't be heralding as many calls from the media when he goes postal and shoots up a cafeteria.

As for the usual parading of the scapegoats (vidoegames, heavy metal, goth culture), we've heard it all before. Being goth is retarded, unless you're a suicidegirl. I'm hoping that if we as a society can band toghether and collectively ignore goths on a whole, they'll wither away and die. Or just kill themselves, without bothering anybody else. I'm cool with either one of those.


At 10:30 AM, Blogger Tay said...

Completely off-topic, but much more awesome: The 2nd annual Calgary Zombie Walk is on Saturday, October 14th! Hurray!

Be there, or be square.

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Cara-bellum said...

Um... while I appreciate the sentiment, I'm sure I would have FREAKED RIGHT OUT at my parents had they read my blog. Not that I *had* a blog back then, but the point remains.

Of course, the worst thing I did was sneak out of the house to go party w/ lots of gay men at Detour. Not plot to blow people/shit/puppies up.

Parenting must be kind of a bitch sometimes.

At 3:05 PM, Blogger Tay said...

You don't tell your kids that you read his blog. No no. The trick is to read it, and then decide what you're going to bust him on. Because you could only get away with that once. Did they sneak out to a harmless party? You might want to sit on that, and wait until they blog about buying drugs or something.


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